Youthful (& wishful) thinking

Growing up, I always promised myself a couple of really important things about what my future adult-life would entail. First, I promised myself that I would build a life I would always enjoy and second, I promised myself that I wouldn’t be a strict parent.

Well here I am, delivering on one of two major dreams… building a life I truly enjoy — maybe not always but that’s part of growth right? Understanding that absolutes aren’t the most mature or realistic evaluation of one’s life.

Anyway, I’ve found myself being more strict as a parent than I would’ve anticipated. I always said I would allow my kids to explore even if it meant them getting hurt. I always said I wouldn’t micromanage their lives. I always promised I wouldn’t have a lot of rules. Well, here I am… more strict than my mom was with me growing up, in hopes of saving my children from themselves.

When you’re young, your brain only sees one piece of the puzzle and it’s often the piece that makes you feel safer than you really are. It is usually that piece that doesn’t remind us of the immense responsibility that comes with adulthood. It’s the piece that tells us resources and time are unlimited. It’s that piece that has us racing ahead toward the next opportunity of freedom.

The gift of a son

Finding out I was pregnant nearly two years following the birth of Grant was a shock. Jon and I hadn’t been trying but we also weren’t preventing. I’ll never forget feeling “sick on my stomach” a week or so before that first missed period and positive test. I was more exhausted than usual and found myself taking surprise mid-day naps. I took a test that week only to receive a negative test result.

The next week, I was due to get my period and it didn’t come. So, I called Jon at work and told him I would be getting a test. Taking the test with no one home was weird, everything was abnormally quiet. Our toddler wasn’t running around. Our eldest was not dancing and making up random songs. It was just me, my cellphone (with Jon on standby) and First Response.

It was clear, quite immediately, that I was pregnant. The months leading up to our son’s due date (8/24/22) would be exhausting. – physically, mentally, and emotionally but they would also be incredibly fulfilling.

Tomorrow, October 17, 2022, makes two months postpartum and I can’t be more grateful for the journey of motherhood with him. I find myself observing Harrison and wishing I could put in a request with God to press pause. I love him so much, and while it’s a lot of work, balancing the three, I truly am learning to appreciate the good and the bad of this season.

So while I can’t freeze time, I can focus on making the most of the present by documenting the process through blog posts, journals, photo, etc.

If you’ve taken the time to read this far, I commend you and I want to encourage you to capture the moments in your life (big or small). Find the balance between being present and capturing memories wherever you can. We can’t freeze time but we can make it work for us by collecting the memory, saving it to a hard drive and pull it out whenever you need a little mood lift. 

I’d love to hear from you…

Tell me below – what memories are you capturing these days? Why do you hold these dear to your heart?

Xo, Taylor