Yesterday, was the first day of in-person, second grade for Jona. This is a moment I literally had been counting down to since the announcement of remote learning in March. I find when we experience the unexpected, something we weren’t mentally or emotionally prepared to deal with, we complain our way through the entire experience and end up missing the small, meaningful moments. Because we just purchased a new home and Jona was starting at a new school, part of me felt like it was my first day of school as well.
Rubbing the sleep from my eyes and showering before I woke him up, I was more than ready to have a second grader. Chatting with Jon about the day ahead, I realized that I would no longer have someone restlessly counting on me for mere entertainment. I’d no longer have him there to sing Disney songs in the kitchen or asking me to prepare a gourmet breakfast, just for him. After 9:00 drop off, it would be just me and Grant, until the nanny showed. The passing of time can almost make you feel like you’ve slept through your entire life. You ask yourself, did I really experience that? Did that really happen to me? It couldn’t have really been that bad.
Before breakfast was fully prepared, I shared with Jona that I was really going to miss having him around, I was going to miss my second grader. His reply, “mommy, thank you for your loving heart.” Like wah, where did this kid come from? Tears swelled as my heart-filled with peace. During the quarantine, I spent much of my time working my full-time job, caring for the kids (pre-nanny) and managing household duties, and when Jon wasn’t remote – the load was heavier. The days were long and most times I questioned my sanity. Life began to become a blur as I’m sure it did for many of you. Now, it’s time for Jona to return to school five days a week and I have a nanny to care for Grant, part-time, where did the time go?
At some point or another in this life, we all end up asking ourselves, where the time went. We sleepwalk through life wishing away the experiences that are actually creating history. I know this time has been hard for many of us but the unexpected has allowed opportunities for many families to be restored. Believers to be reunited with God. Friendships to be cultivated on solid ground. For me, the pandemic has been a time of breakthroughs and restoration but mostly, an opportunity to merely sing Disney songs with my kids and teach them their manners – teach them how to show up authentically themselves, with good (God) hearts.
When it was time to pick Jona up from school, I was over the moon, Grant obviously missed his brother and Jon couldn’t wait to hear about his day. He shared his first day recap, and I also got the chance to speak to his teacher. Her feedback, “Jona is the most kind, sweet and polite student. I truly adored him, he’s one of my favorites.” And Jona, LOVED the school to say the least.
I’ll be honest, I never expected to miss him when it was time for him to return to the classroom, but I did. Life is filled with the unexpected but it’s important how we decide to show up. Time is fleeting and motherhood is a gift. If you’re still in the midst of parenting during the pandemic, embrace this time and know that you will (on some level) miss your babies. At minimum, you’ll miss caring for your babies, you will miss being their ultimate hero.
Take care of yourself,